Wait, we actually waited for that?

England finally wrapped up their pre-tournament obligations with a 3-0 win over Costa Rica, but good luck finding anyone who actually felt energized by the display. We sat through a massive storm delay that pushed kickoff to 10pm BST, leaving half the fanbase checking their watches and the other half wondering if we were collectively hallucinating.

The match itself felt like a glorified training session held in a bowl of lukewarm soup. Sure, putting three goals past Costa Rica is technically doing your job, but it provided zero, and I mean absolute zero, indication of how this team handles actual pressure.

The squad looks disjointed as the clock ticks

You can check the live coverage of the match to see the tactical aimlessness on display. The backline spent more time playing horizontal passes than a team trying to organize a game of tag on a playground.

We are exactly one day away from the official start of the FIFA World Cup 2026, and the tactical cohesion looks like a jigsaw puzzle with the wrong pieces forced into the middle. If this is the final tune-up, Gareth Southgate’s brain trust has a lot of explaining to do before the real bullets start flying.

The defensive reality check

Let’s talk about the defense. While we kept a clean sheet, the Costa Rican transition play exposed gaps that would get absolutely shredded by a team like France or Brazil. If you give a striker with actual finishing ability those pockets of space, the scoreboard is going to look a lot different.

We saw some decent individual work, sure. But individual brilliance isn't going to cover for a midfield that looked as static as a museum exhibit during the few moments Costa Rica actually decided to press. The intensity vanished the moment we hit the 3-0 mark on the board, and nobody seemed bothered to hunt for a fourth.

The ghost of tournaments past is looming

We do this every time. We drag ourselves through these warm-ups, look at the roster sheet, convince ourselves the talent gap is enough to paper over the cracks, and then act shocked when we collapse under the weight of expectations. It is a psychological loop, and I am exhausted.

The weather drama was a fitting metaphor for the entire build-up to this tournament. Everything is delayed, everyone is on edge, and we still don't know if the storm is going to clear once the group stage actually kicks off.

If you genuinely think this performance suggests we are tournament favorites, I have a bridge in London I’d love to sell you at a bargain price. We are better than this, but being better on paper is the classic English trap. We need to wake up, find a gear that isn't parked in neutral, and stop getting distracted by the lighting.