The Etihad Stadium was a crime scene yesterday

If you walked into a pub in Manchester yesterday around the 60-minute mark, you probably thought you were watching a training session. Manchester City didn't just beat Liverpool; they turned a high-stakes FA Cup quarter-final into a glorified Sunday league kick-around. The Guardian covered the demolition, and honestly, the scoreline doesn't even do justice to how badly Arne Slot's side folded. By the time Erling Haaland bagged his third, the away end was emptying faster than a dive bar at 2 AM on a Tuesday.

Haaland is proof football is just a video game

Watching Haaland lately feels like playing FIFA on rookie difficulty. He isn't just scoring; he’s essentially deleting the opposing backline with a smirk. The man notched his first hat-trick for City since August 2024, and he clearly enjoyed every second of it. Reports suggest even he couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the afternoon.

The build-up for that third goal was a masterclass in humiliation. Jérémy Doku and Nico O’Reilly toyed with the Liverpool defense until the gaps were large enough to park a London bus in. It was clinical, it was cruel, and it was glorious football.

Mo Salah's day to forget

While Haaland was busy collecting match balls, Mo Salah was busy having his own personal nightmare. Missing a penalty when you’re already down is the universal sign that your team has completely checked out. The final score read 4-0, but it felt much worse. Liverpool looked like they were running in quicksand, while City looked like they were operating in a different dimension.

It’s funny to think about the money involved, too. We spend all week arguing over wages, and current data shows Haaland isn't even the highest-paid player in the world, sitting behind two La Liga stars. If he keeps putting up performances like this, City are going to have to open their pockets even wider before the World Cup rolls around in June.

The Slot era is staring at some real cracks

Let’s be real for a second: questions are going to be asked of Arne Slot after this result. Getting schooled in the FA Cup is one thing, but looking completely disorganized while doing it is another. Tactical flexibility is great until your defenders start looking like they’ve never met each other before. If Liverpool want to be more than just a top-four contender who folds in big cups, they need to stop the defensive bleeding immediately.

Meanwhile, the rest of the football world looks toward the upcoming Champions League fixtures with a bit of trepidation. If City keeps this energy for the quarter-finals starting April 7, whoever they face is in for a very, very long night. The sheer gap in quality shown yesterday wasn't just a fluke; it was a statement of intent that the domestic season is effectively theirs to lose.